Fear is something that I really don't think too much about. It doesn't mean that I'm not afraid sometimes, it just means that I've learned to deal with my fear. Once again, and I'm not preaching again, I often look to the Bible to find answers about such questions. It's just part of my faith. The Bible says that the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. In this case, fearing God is a kind of healthy fear which is the same as a respect for God. In the same sense, it is the same as a fear of different things being a good thing. For example, fear of burning your hand if you touch a hot stove will keep you from getting burned. A fear of poisonous snakes will make you more aware and careful of them if you decide to go hiking in an area that may have poisonous snakes. Fear of the consequences of your actions (especially if they are illegal actions) may be enough to keep you from doing the the wrong thing. For example, fear of getting a speeding ticket will keep you from driving too fast. These kinds of fear are healthy.
It's the kind of unhealthy fear that is often the problem. If you have a desire to be an actress and you are too afraid to get in front of people or a camera, that could be a big problem as far as a career in acting goes. Now this kind of fear could be the agent in which you strive to overcome in which case you could continue for an acting career. It is when you allow the fear to take control and you back away from the thing you want to do. For a long time, I was afraid of heights. Several times, I had the opportunity to go para-sailing. After about 3 years, I finally got up the nerve to try it. I got on that boat, strapped on the parachute and went up about 400 feet above the water while being pulled by the boat. I can't describe the amazing things I saw while up there. If I had not overcome my fear of heights, I would have missed an experience that I will never forget. Ever since then, heights don't bother me as much which helped me while I was working on the cat walks in the Reilly theater.
I used to be afraid of being in front of people (sometimes I still am). I started to interpret sign language at church several years ago. I remember the first time I got up in front of people to sign. We were going to Bethany World Prayer Center at the time. The sanctuary held about 3 thousand people. I was only interpreting for just a few people but I had to stand in front of those 3 thousand people. I was terrified! I made myself continue even though my knees were knocking under my skirt and I was sweating like crazy. I made it through and forced myself to continue signing for services. I eventually got over my fear. Later, I had an opportunity to interpret for Cornerstone Music Festival in Bushnell Illinois for their 20th anniversary concerts. I stood on a huge stage in front of 35,000 people and interpreted for whatever deaf people where there. Was I afraid? Yes, I was a bit nervous about being in front of so many people! But, I was confident in my abilities and was able to do my job. I think that is the best secret of an artist - to be confident in your art and your abilities to overcome any fear or uncertainty that you may have. The best thing to do when confronted with an unhealthy fear, is to make up your mind to face that fear and overcome it and continue to until you have a victory over that fear.
Saturday, January 31, 2015
Thursday, January 22, 2015
Journal entry 1 - Anger
Anger is a subject that I don't often talk about. After reading the article about anger, I realized that I tend to be the "nice person" in that I tend to try to be a peacemaker. I never used to be that way, that is before I became a Christian. I was a very angry teenager and didn't know how to handle my anger. My anger outlet at that time was through substance abuse and at one point in my youth, I even tried suicide (obviously unsuccessfully). I grew up in a upper-middle class home and my parents tried their best to raise me well. My father would get angry at times and yell a lot but never abused us. They never really taught us (my brothers and I) specifically about how to handle anger. When I finally left home was after a huge argument with my dad and he threw me out of the house. I left very angry and never returned (at least to live). I did go back to visit. That is how I handled my anger, by running away from it and didn't want to face it.
My anger issues changed dramatically when I became a Christian. The teachings in the Bible about anger helped me tremendously. There are several verses that talk about anger. Here are a few: "Stop you anger! Turn from your rage!" Ps 37:8 NIV, "Keep away from angry, short-tempered people" Prov 22:24 NIV, "Don't be quick-tempered, for anger is the friend of fools. " Ecc. 7:9 NIV, "A fool gives full vent to anger, but a wise man quietly holds it back." Prov 29:11 NIV, and my favorite verse is, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger." Prov 15:1 NIV.
Now as far as the article The Dance of Anger goes, I would be curious as how Harriet Lerner would respond to these verses. She would probably say that they are old fashioned and out of date. I would have to disagree with her on that. I think if more people practiced these ideas in these verses, they would have less problems in their life. There is another verse in James 1:19-20 (NIV) that says, "My dear brothers and sisters, be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry. Your anger can never make things right in God's sight." This verse could work very well in theatrical situations when there are disagreements. If the people were "quick to listen and slow to speak," then they could see each other's ideas, whether they were about a scenic design, lighting design or anything else.
Now in my personal life, as a Christian and a wife of 34 1/2 years, I'v learned how to live in a relationship that is fairly stable. Now I'm not saying that I never get angry, I've just learned to control it in such a way that it has not been detrimental to our relationship. There is one verse that both my husband and I follow when we do have disagreements. It is:
"And "don't sin by letting anger gain control over you." Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a mighty foothold to the Devil. If you are a thief, stop stealing. Begin using your hands for honest work, and then give generously to others in need. Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words
will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow
to God's Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he is the one who
has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the
day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words,
and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior."
Eph. 4:26-31 NIV
Now, I've highlighted (in yellow) the part about not letting "the sun go down while you are still angry" because that helps us to sort out the problem we had disagreed about. Sometimes, it's a matter of agreeing to disagree and leaving it at that. We both try to do what it says (highlighted in pink) because we want to encourage each other. Maybe that makes me "the nice lady" or whatever. Most of all, we put Jesus as the most important person in our marriage knowing if we follow his commandments, that it will all work out for good, arguments and all.
My anger issues changed dramatically when I became a Christian. The teachings in the Bible about anger helped me tremendously. There are several verses that talk about anger. Here are a few: "Stop you anger! Turn from your rage!" Ps 37:8 NIV, "Keep away from angry, short-tempered people" Prov 22:24 NIV, "Don't be quick-tempered, for anger is the friend of fools. " Ecc. 7:9 NIV, "A fool gives full vent to anger, but a wise man quietly holds it back." Prov 29:11 NIV, and my favorite verse is, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger." Prov 15:1 NIV.
Now as far as the article The Dance of Anger goes, I would be curious as how Harriet Lerner would respond to these verses. She would probably say that they are old fashioned and out of date. I would have to disagree with her on that. I think if more people practiced these ideas in these verses, they would have less problems in their life. There is another verse in James 1:19-20 (NIV) that says, "My dear brothers and sisters, be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry. Your anger can never make things right in God's sight." This verse could work very well in theatrical situations when there are disagreements. If the people were "quick to listen and slow to speak," then they could see each other's ideas, whether they were about a scenic design, lighting design or anything else.
Now in my personal life, as a Christian and a wife of 34 1/2 years, I'v learned how to live in a relationship that is fairly stable. Now I'm not saying that I never get angry, I've just learned to control it in such a way that it has not been detrimental to our relationship. There is one verse that both my husband and I follow when we do have disagreements. It is:
"And "don't sin by letting anger gain control over you." Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a mighty foothold to the Devil. If you are a thief, stop stealing. Begin using your hands for honest work, and then give generously to others in need. Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words
will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow
to God's Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he is the one who
has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the
day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words,
and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior."
Eph. 4:26-31 NIV
Now, I've highlighted (in yellow) the part about not letting "the sun go down while you are still angry" because that helps us to sort out the problem we had disagreed about. Sometimes, it's a matter of agreeing to disagree and leaving it at that. We both try to do what it says (highlighted in pink) because we want to encourage each other. Maybe that makes me "the nice lady" or whatever. Most of all, we put Jesus as the most important person in our marriage knowing if we follow his commandments, that it will all work out for good, arguments and all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)